speak up, and keep my conscience clean when i wake

hello, worldwideweb. i’ve been really picky lately with the songs i write, so a lot of my stuff’s been coming up short and i’ve given them up after a verse or chorus. this song i wrote last night and it miraculously made it to completion.

i’ve only ever written one song about this person before. i’m kinda questioning everything about us right now, and even though its irrational and stupid, it hurts just the same. i wrote this when i just didn’t know where anything stood. hopefully it’s a good one, it’s been a while since i’ve written a full song.

enjoy, this one’s called all the questions:

late nights and darkened corners,

the starlight of a truth

come closer now,

i want this,

but i haven’t got a clue

——

i know the way you whisper, 

how you smile, how you taste,

haunt me now, carry on

these fragments, tried, erased

——

what do you say,

when you haven’t got the words

what do you do,

with this sparkling, glassy curse

how do i stay, so far away,

let time stand so slow

how do i watch you go?

——

i have a thousand silence, 

and all these hoping thoughts

placed you inside my dreamworld,

a picture, overwrought

——

tried time again to let this go,

but i’ve never one to cry,

always feeling,

don’t want to say goodbye

——

what do you say,

when you haven’t got the words

what do you do,

with this sparkling, glassy curse

how do i stay, so far away,

let time stand so slow

how do i watch you go?

——

this avalanche, a snowstorm,

just want to find a peace

don’t need all the answers,

want those trees, the sun, complete

——

what do you say,

when you haven’t got the words

what do you do,

with this sparkling, glassy curse

how do i stay, so far away,

let time stand so slow

how do i watch you go?

of all the gin joints, in all the towns, in all the world, i had to walk right into you ;) 

namaste, y’all.

jump and touch the sky.

been working through a LOT of writer’s block, y’all, so i’m sorry for being a little nonexistent for a while. life sucks lately, and i’m so damn ready to be done with school. 

anyway, after a bit of venting there, this song is about the complicated relationship i have with my dad. i love him dearly, but sometimes we think too alike to really understand each other. this song is one i wrote after we clashed again, to kind of get my feelings out. it’s a plea for understanding more than anything - i really miss those days when it was easy. 

please enjoy, this one’s called understand:

i’ll sit here, and try to catch a falling star,

no matter what i do,

i can never be who you are

i’ll try and try to do it,

but you’ll always see right through this

——

i’ve got these hollowed eyes,

no compromise,

you want a perfect daughter,

a damsel in disguise

well, forgive me, if my fairy tale’s gotten old,

i need to save myself,

i think you know

——

time and time again,

i keep trying not to fail you,

and in your face, i know

there’s nothing i can do

to keep up your golden standard,

i need to work on my own answers,

don’t need a knight in shining armor, too 

——

i’ve got these hollowed eyes,

no compromise,

you want a perfect daughter,

a damsel in disguise

well, forgive me, if my fairy tale’s gotten old,

i need to save myself,

i think you know

——

i do know,

i do try,

and you don’t think this isn’t easy

can’t wake,

can’t fly,

please try to just believe me

——

i’ve got these hollowed eyes,

no compromise,

you want a perfect daughter,

a damsel in disguise

well, forgive me, if my fairy tale’s gotten old,

i need to save myself,

i think you know.

until next time, y’all. jump and touch the sky. 

hello, y’all! welcome back. i’ve only really been posting what is my best stuff, because ive been writing snippets of songs and verses. college applications/stress is putting a major roadblock on my writing. i’ve also gotten picky- i won’t force a song through to the end if it doesn’t want to be written.

this song is what’s been going on in my head for the past few days. i’m very lonely and it really takes it toll on me. it’s also heavily influenced by marianas trench’s ever after, which besides being a very good album, is all i’ve really listened to lately. 

please enjoy, this one’s called once apon a time:

sit down, and let me tell you,

a little story,

just a tale, 

no happy endings, hope or glory

——

it’s the broken little pieces,

that just bubble up inside

when i’m gone,

alone and hearing

——

i’ll take my hands,

and keep on moving forward,

all the while, scared,

keep looking back around the corners

i’ll take what i can and go,

trying to run away without a road

it’s such a beautiful, beautiful, disaster,

this happily ever after

——

taking breaths,

is not really that easy,

play a part,

but no one really sees me

——

wish i could burn away everything,

all up in smoke,

but i like the way it chokes

——

i’ll take my hands,

and keep on moving forward,

all the while, scared,

keep looking back around the corners

i’ll take what i can and go,

trying to run away without a road

it’s such a beautiful, beautiful, disaster,

this happily ever after

——

and i miss,

the wind, the pouring rain

the prince, to come,

and take me away

this story’s too lonely to end,

so i’ll ride it out, catch a friend

——

i’ll take my hands,

and keep on moving forward,

all the while, scared,

keep looking back around the corners

i’ll take what i can and go,

trying to run away without a road

it’s such a beautiful, beautiful, disaster,

this happily ever after.

 it’s been a long week so far and it’s only going to get harder. trying my best, though so wish me luck.

namaste, ya’ll. masa ilxeer.

hello, y’all, and welcome to daylight savings time! (well, in a few hours, but i digress.) i hope you had as nice a saturday as i did, and i hope y’all will forgive me for the lack of songs i’ve been posting. it’s a busy busy time with college apps and i promise i’ll be back soon full force.

this is a song i wrote about two weeks ago when i just needed to get some feelings out that don’t really exist anymore. it’s about my fucked-up relationship with a boy, and how i was feeling about it that day. 

enjoy this one, it’s called benefits:

i’ve got a lot to say,

and no one really here to listen,

it’s been a while,

since i’ve tried to bring me out

——

we seem to fall together,

just as the world falls apart

i don’t want this chance,

but i can’t save this broken heart

——

each time, i try to walk away,

you’ll stay,

and every time i seem to let you go,

we’ve been a mess,

so perfect, yet

nothing seems to hold

don’t let me go

——

always my own reflections,

feelings so unclear,

we’ll try to make this work,

indifferent to what got us here

——

each time, i try to walk away,

you’ll stay,

and every time i seem to let you go,

we’ve been a mess,

so perfect, yet

nothing seems to hold

don’t let me go

——

another chance for breakthroughs,

another messed-up time

when will heat and summer sunshine,

make this less than mine

——

each time, i try to walk away,

you’ll stay,

and every time i seem to let you go,

we’ve been a mess,

so perfect, yet

nothing seems to hold

don’t let me go,

don’t let me go.

to everyone who can’t seem to let the bad ones go, this is for you. we’ll be big kids together and do it for ourselves.

stay strong and have heart.